There's nothing better than a bunch of zany loons dressing up in
Imperial British uniforms and pelting one another with flour
bombs and newspaper swords. That's exactly what
Alf's Imperial Army does:
"...brave men and women carry out of their own free willPreviously, the Army has gone into battle with the
those missions which Her Majesty the Queen would not
dare ask the Empire's citizens to undertake for her honour
alone. ALF's Imperial Army struggles to safeguard proper
Victorian standards of propriety and cumbersomeness in
dress, architecture, technologies, and entertainments. Its
members dress in the 1880s-style redcoat uniform which
they quite rightly believe to be the epitome of style. They
keep themselves in readiness to respond to anything that
might be taken as an excuse to be offended on behalf of
the Queen, her family (or at least those presently in
favour), and the sacred institutions of the British culture
and state such as corgis, morris dancing and weak chins.
They challenge those responsible to battle unless
grovelling apologies are offered."
"Green Republicans" lead by Field Marshal Keith Locke.
5 comments:
LOL, Oh my God, these guys are a trip!
A Basic Battle Outline
For Basic Soldiers
Despite what may be one's first impression, Gentle Reader, despite being a veritable whirlwind of obscure activities, savage skirmishes, screams, shouts, flashing swords, drifting funpowder and madly improvisational theatre, most Pacifist Battles adhere more or less loosely to a Plan of Action - with the usual start, middle and finish of any good script. Obviously, the less complicated the reasons for the battle, the less likely it is to require a written guide. And to be entirely honest, the idea of writing the plan down rather detracts from the experience for the author.
Following the obligatory weapons' check - to eliminate weapons regarded as unacceptable, unsafe, unsavoury or just plain dangerous - and the armies have formed up, battles generally follow a format similar to the following:
1.
The declaration of moral supremacy and the hurling of ritual insults - possibly including an offer to allow the enemy to surrender before any flourshed occurs. Of course, they are free to refuse all such offers with extreme prejudice.
2.
Skirmishing forward to determine the enemy’s strength and level of determination. Also a fine opportunity to "blood" new recruits. After all, they must become accustomed to the idea that dying for the Queen is all part of the performance.
3.
Pitched battle(s) for whatever objective has been set, paying particular attention to the complete and total destruction of enemy forces.
4.
Massacre of the Gallant Chaps of the Regiment, slaughter of the Foul Foe and all their assorted minions, complete annihilation of both armies at least once, indecisive withdrawal of both forces and/or simultaneous declarations of peace and amity (rarely worth the paper they are hurriedly printed upon), declarations of "Victory".
5.
Handshake charge - to thank the enemy for a jolly good bash - and impress upon them the Regiment's good sportsmanship. Followed by Three Cheers for the gallant foe and Three Cheers for Her Majesty.
6.
Moa Parade - to keep the arena of battle as tidy as possible, thereby spiking the guns of Wowsers and other misanthropic individuals who find the concept of having fun to be an anathema.
Within this rather broad framework some parts will almost certainly be left out, and a good deal of creative mayhem will be added to flesh out the battle and make it unique. Durations vary from some fifteen minutes (purely for display) to several hours, depending on the terrain, the fitness and enthusiasm of the combatants and the actual numbers of battlers. To this is added the time taken by theatrics and histrionics, gallant death scenes, obscure bits of theatre and the like.
LOL, my kind of silliness, love their charter!
This looks like my cup-of-tea!
These guys are great, nothing like
having the perfect excuse to dress
up and act silly...)
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